SIDE 1

PHINEOUS TROUT: Ladies and Gentlemen, the worldwide rush for Wonka bars is getting bigger by the minute. It seems a second Golden Ticket has been found.

(WONKA gestures for VERUCA’S Golden Ticket to light.)

PHINEOUS TROUT: We’re off to our live remote in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where things are “sweet” for Veronica Salt.

(VERUCA and her FATHER enter.)

VERUCA: That’s Veruca, you imbecile! VERUCA, VERUCA, VERUCA!

PHINEOUS TROUT: (purposefully ignoring VERUCA) So, Mr. Salt, I understand you “sweetened” Veruca’s chances with a little assistance?

MR. SALT: As soon as my little girl told me that she simply had to have one of those Golden Tickets, I bought hundreds of thousands of Wonka bars. I’m in the nut business, peanuts, cashews, but mainly Brazil nuts. So I had my factory girls stop shelling Brazil nuts and start shelling wrappers.

VERUCA: Daddy, that hideous reporter said my name wrong, on LIVE TELEVISION! Can’t you get him fired?!

MR. SALT: For you, dear, anything…anyway…after days of shelling chocolate, one of my factory gals finally found the blasted Golden Ticket. I let her take the lucky piece of chocolate home to her 17 kids…

PHINEOUS TROUT: (sarcastically) How generous!

VERUCA: Daddy, now he’s being SARCASTIC! I want him fired. FIRED! You hear me? Fired, fired, FIRED!